The Cherry Pie Chronicles

Part I - April 16, 2006

It's Easter Sunday.  Spring has finally arrived here in Connecticut and things are starting to come back to life.   How I love this time of year when the forsythia starts blooming again and adds quite a bit of color to my 45 yard back yard airgun range.

Just to the left of my main firing line, my guaranteed 12 foot dwarf cherry tree that is now about 30 feet tall is just starting to blossom.  The Japanese have a thing for cherry blossoms and some people spend their whole lives trying to produce the perfect photograph or painting of cherry blossoms.  Supposedly it has something to do with the celestial bodies.  Well guys - this is America, and we've got better things to do, so here are my snaps that took about 30 seconds to produce!

Sure, the cherry blossoms evoke feelings of new beginnings and life freshly renewed.  But to me, these flowers have two, and only two meanings.... CHERRY PIE and SQUIRREL DEATH!  After 10 years, last year was the first time my tree produced enough cherries to generate several pies.  Wow was I excited!  If you want the recipe go here.   But as it turned out, I was not the only one with visions of cherry pie...turns out some local gray squirrels did too.  You can read about them here. 

After posting my original Cherry Pie experiences, I started to get hate e-mails and calls from my friends at PETA.  They didn't like the idea of a dead squirrel with a cherry in his mouth. To  me it seems no different than a roasted pig with an apple in his mouth. But they didn't stop the e-mail until I found out where Miss Queen PETA lived and went out to her place to offer to cull out her squirrel population and give her a fighting chance at having some Cherry pie also.

So anyhow, this is the first chapter in this year's cherry pie venture.   In case there are any squirrels out there on a rodent form of the internet....be forewarned....stay away from my cherries, least this happen to you....In the meantime, dear readers, come back often as I chronicle this years' adventure from blossoms to pie...with the possibility of a few diversions into squirrel death should it become necessary to protect the crop!

Part II - May 5, 2006

All is progressing well with the cherries and I am right on target for my first pie of the year on June 3, 2006.  Just in time to feed the workers at the next WLOPA construction effort for the 2006 AAFTA field target nationals.    The green cherries are developing nicely and the tree is full at this point.

However, in discussing the situation with the protector of the left flank, my neighbor, Colonel Bill Giblin, I am receiving intelligence reports of code transmissions that have been occurring between members of the 4th light infantry of the Fairfield Squirrel Brigade.    Although not fully decoded at this time, the 'chatter' that has been intercepted, to date, is consistent with past efforts by the Brigade to set up perimeter defenses with their highly effective .056 cal Light Machine Squirrel Guns (LMSG's). 

You can listen to the intercepted chatter by clicking here.

Additional chatter (believed to be from advanced units) here

(select "open" after clicking)

Fairfield Squirrel Beret Operating an LMSG

Close inspection of the cherry tree suggests that the Squirrel Berets may already be executing the construction of planned defenses of this year's cherry crop.   Surveillance cameras from the Cherry-SAT geosynchronous defense satellite revealed use of duct-tape which is commonly used in the placement of LMSG's.  At this time, the situation is being advanced to the UN Security Council for further investigations and deliberation on the matter.    However, no matter what form of sanctions, if any, are taken by the UN, the Squirrel Berets are hereby put on notice that any  acts of aggression that would limit North Benson's access to strategic cherry reserves will be met with vigorous and lethal force.   Should an analysis of the above 'chatter' reveal plans of a massive first-strike by the Squirrel Berets, Steve in CT will be called in for a pre-emptive strike with the top secret weapon, code-named FX REVOLUTION.