The High Price of Cherries
DDay - 6/25/05
It's true - oil prices are spiking at $60 per gallon and threatening to put a real damper on the economy. If things continue the way they are going, we'll soon see 24 hour armed guards at gas stations and the gasoline cost per pellet fired ratio at WLOPA field target events will exceed 1000:1. But that is not what concerns me. What I am concerned about is the high cost of CHERRIES!
About 9 years ago when I moved into my house in Connecticut, I had this grand vision of having fruit bearing trees and bushes of all sorts in my backyard kingdom (which has since been renamed the Connecticut Airgun Proving Gounds and Pest Species Killing Fields). One of the trees I planted was a dwarf cherry tree that was GUARANTEED to grow no taller than 12 feet in height (it is now 30 feet tall) and produce fruit in abundance within 2 years of planting. I guess I should have read the fine print of that sales contract, because up until this year, the only things the tree produced were a few little .25 cal round balls that looked like a perfect fit in my Talon SS. I think they were even hard enough to penetrate well and do damage to the occasional pest that dares to stray into the yard.
Well, this year, all of that changed, and my cherry tree (the exact species I don't remember because it was planted in the last century) produced an abundance of round red and yellow fruits that gave me visions of CHERRY PIE. I was willing to accept the fact that there would be some crop loss from birds visiting the upper branches of the tree, and this proved to be true as the cherries ripened. I was OK with this because most of the birds were song birds and there certainly were enough cherries to go around. But then all of the sudden as the cherries just started to turn red, mass destruction of my tree began. I could not figure it out.
A few days ago, the source of the destruction was revealed. Early in the morning before going to work, I decided to check out the tree, and as I approached it, I saw two gray blobs of fir just laying in the branches. GRAY SQUIRRELS! When they spotted me, I saw something that I have never before seen in the squirrel world. Lazily both squirrels came down out of the tree and SLOWLY, like drunken sailors, weaved their way across my yard and into the neighbor's oak tree. As they turned, I witnessed what could have easily been a new species - The Potbelly Gray! Yes, these guys had so gorged themselves on my cherries that they could have easily passed for mini versions of pot bellied pigs!
So, that was it, I decided right then and there that a revenge killing was in order because I waited 7 years beyond the guarantee to get any fruit at all from this tree. And now that it was harvest time, I wasn't going to loose any more of it to ole Bushy Tale. But keeping first things first, a harvest was in order. The squirrels did leave enough cherries for me to make ONE cherry pie! How nice of them to share!!!!
Cherries From the Tree
But before getting to Revenge on the Potbelly Gray, it is time to digress a bit and discuss cherry pie. Having harvested only about a gallon of cherries, I was faced with a dilemma - what to do with them. Original plans called for freezing, making jams, selling my own line of cherry syrup to Coca Cola, and eventually cornering the cherry futures market in Connecticut. But with only a gallon of fruit , cherry pie was my only alternative.
Now if you guys out there have never made a pie before, I must advise that although it looks pretty simple, its really a labor intensive process. I guess it would be possible just to throw the whole cherries between two crusts and bake, but that leaves one little detail problem of tooth breaking pits! So out came the knife, and pitting of the cherries began! At first it was a bit difficult to extract the pits without crushing the fruit, but after a while, the technique seemed to come simple enough. It is sort of like learning to load a Daystate PH6 - impossible at first, but doable in the dark after a tin or so of pellets.
The cherry pitting was exhausting, so after that process was complete, I took a break to do a little skunk hunting with my neighbor, Bill Giblin. That is another story, but if you are interested, you can read about it here. Another tip on pie making - get the Pillsbury pre-made crusts at the grocery store. They can be found in the biscuit and other pre-made baking supplies section at most stores. If you are like me - just go to the store and wander up and down the aisles and think of it as a hunt - you'll eventually find it!
Anyhow, the pie came out well, and here is the recipe and a few pics:
Ingredients
1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie
4 tablespoons quick-cooking tapioca (in the Jello section of the store)
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup white sugar
4 cups pitted cherries (consider migrant workers for this as your time can easily boost the cost of the final product to $100 per pie)
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 tablespoons butter
Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place bottom crust in piepan. Set top crust aside, covered.
In a large mixing bowl combine tapioca, salt, sugar, cherries, and extracts. let stand 15 minutes. Turn out onto bottom crust and dot with butter. Cover with top crust, trim, flute edges, and cut vents in top crust. Place pie on a foiled cookie sheet in case of drips. Bake in oven for 50 minutes until golden brown.
Note for guys - the important direction here is to place on a cookie sheet. If a secondary goal of the activity is to surprise the Mrs with your baking abilities, the first thing she is going to check is for destruction of the insides of the previously clean oven.
The Pie - Perfect!!!!!
OK - now that the cooking class is out of the way, back to the Potbelly Gray Squirrel! Normally, I don't think bad thoughts about animals I am killing and actually have a twinge of sadness when I take an animal's life, but this time was different. After all this marauder was destroying my conquest of the cherry markets, so this was a revenge killing pure and simple. Retaliation if you will! For two days, before going to work and when coming home at night, I gave the tree a quick check with the binoculars for any gray furry blob activity. NOTHING! Unusual as I had purposely left part of the harvest to set the trap. But on the third day, I saw the tell-tell shaking of branches that indicated ole bushy was busy at work so I grabbed my trusty Cyclone .22 (which seems to get most of the calls these days for pests) and settled into my shooting portal (AKA window) to watch for activity through the mildot scope.
The Cyclone from my cushioned shooting window
Until the hunt/ambush began, I never realized how many leaves were on a cherry tree. I'd see a little tail here, a leg there, the body moving and on and on. But I didn't want to take a gut shot with this guy. Being a 'hit', behind the ear was the only way to go as I wanted my little thief to think hard about his last moments on earth. I wanted him to feel a little of my mental pain from loss of at least half my harvest!
After what seemed like an eternity, finally he revealed his head.....Now turn around Mr. Wise Guy...this is a 'hit' so its got to be behind the ear with a .22 cal projectile......Yes finally - there is the shot! Safety off! Easy breath, settle the cross hair, squeeze the trigger, and follow through..........and that unmistakable thawaccck told me it was a perfect shot!!!!! But for a full minute, no bushy tail falling out of the trees....What happened?? And then THUD...a 20 foot drop straight to the ground and absolutely zero movement. This guy didn't give up easily, and I guess he stopped for one last cherry on his way down.
Priceless!
So what is the point of all this? I did manage to combine cherry pie with a good hunt! And cherry futures on the world market are coming back down on the news! But if you are in the cherry market, don't sell off just yet....these gray furry guys breed like.....well squirrels! And if history holds true there will be many more to defend my harvest from next year. I guess I'd better start planning now! Purchase of a cherry pitting devise wouldn't be a bad idea either!